Rube-icks circular thot.

Me thinks I have nothing terribly inspiring or deep to say tonight.

Feeling my typical restless, dissatisfied self. Not happy with my job, despite the fact it technically isnt a bad gig. I make good money, even if I don't get to bring home the majority of it... thank you taxes, insurance and child support system!

I just feel so empty doing computer work. I really don't like the infernal things, and despite the fact they have given me a good career thus far, I am really not that good at them.

Not a techie at all, just somewhat in tune with how user interfaces work and gifted by the creator with a smidgen of common sense so I could keep from over analyzing a situation and find the simple root cause. Ugh that hurt even to type.

Funny though, how I could simplify situations like that, to find a solution, but over time have done just the opposite in my life... I turn a simple mouse-trap of a situation into a Rube Goldbergian scenario where I add layer after layer of complexity until it truly becomes unworkable.

Sadly, either I am becoming old and unable to keep up with the times, or am beginning to allow these tendencies to seep into my work life... over complicating things to the point where I dont understand them anymore. I find learning new concepts more and more difficult, where before they would come naturally. Saddens me really.

I see friends with photographic memories... able to spit out facts and figures learned long ago and here I am... often times unable to remember the names of good friends, or people I have seen just the day before.

I cannot learn a lick of Spanish, despite our regular exposure to it, and trips to Mexico and Puerto Rico, but I can still speak German almost as fluently as I could at the end of 3 years of it in High School. Wo ist die Gedachtniskirche? Ich habe keine idee wo das ist. Gehen sie zum das tankstelle und fragt es. (almost)

Well, obviously the rambling shows some type of inspiration. Oh well...

I dunno. I just feel unmotivated by any job I can have that pays me enough to take care of my family - without going back to school for 4-6 years and surrendering every waking moment of my time, putting us terribly in debt and missing the bulk of my daughter's childhood while I work and go to school. But then, I'll start at the bottom of any ladder I may choose to climb, and be shackled to the debt and lack of a relationship with my wife and daughter... so, would I be any better off?

ugh.. see? Rube damn you!!

I guess I am just lazy... at least that is the American 'tude' speaking. I should have a stiff upper lip, trudge on and one day derive some satisfaction from the fact I quietly perservered and served my employer well.

Alas, I am just a whiny lil so-and-so and should get the "F" over it huh?